iVE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR THIS FUCKING VIDEO AND I FINALLY FOUND IT AND ITS CAUSING ME CHEST PAINS
I FORGOT ABOUT THIS VIDEO UNTIL APPROXXIMATELY 3 MINUTES AGO AND IM LAUGHING OS HARD
HOW TO BECOME A GODDAMN MAGICIAN
1. OWN A TABLET PEN
2. PUT IT DOWN FOR TEN SECONDS
3. ABRACADABRA WHERE THE FUCK DID IT GO
i only have one follower over there and its just sad
that’s it. that’s the whole show.
Person: “I’m 6ft tall”
me: *tries to imagine six subway sandwiches on top of eachother*
Happy new year, everyone! Here’s to a great 2014 and
if there’s anything I can’t handle right now it’s this
Just a reminder:the natural diet of these birds is BONES. Not just bone marrow; actual bone shards. They pick up huge freaking bones from carcasses and drop them onto rocks until they get spiky pieces and then they swallow them. Their stomach acid dissolves bone.
look me in the eye and tell me that’s not a fucking dragon
And they aren’t naturally red like that. That’s self-applied makeup. They find the reddest earth they can to work into their feathers as a status symbol.
And they don’t scavenge other parts of carcases, just the bones. 85-90% of their diet is exclusively bone. Hence why it’s only a myth that these birds would just pick up whole lambs and carry them off. It’s not true, but in German they’re still called Lämmergeier as a result.
fun prank: put $1000 in an envelope and mail it to me
irl im very shy and timid. im like a small animal. approach me calmly with a snack